Day One

Self love, is the best kind of love.”

Today, I learned how to love my scars.

Every day, for 8 years, I look into the mirror. I see the scar on my face that has been healed. I see the scar on my stomach that has been healed. I see the scar on my leg that has been healed.

“Healed” is a funny thing. They are healed, then created into scars. Yet, when I see them, I feel completely torn open again. I am reminded of all of the mistakes from my past. Not just from that day, but every day. I am reminded that I am covered in scars. Scars from bad memories.

But the thing I most desire, is to see these scars, and to love them. Love them for the lessons I’ve learned, the people I’ve lost, and all the growing I’ve done since that day.

It still feels as if I’m 16. Trapped inside myself. My thoughts trapped in my head, my emotions trapped in my body. The familiar feelings of emptiness still creep back, almost daily.

But today, starting today, I am learning to love these scars. I’m learning to live again.

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