I remember it perfectly. I remember my stomach dropping, as I walked through campus. I remember that pain in my chest as if it were happening as I type this.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to remain my composure as my whole plan, my whole dream, my whole future, fell apart right in my hands without my control.
Then the feeling of anger came almost immediately. I had just spilled my soul to you the week before. After searching for a different home with someone else, I had finally come back to you. And you knew that.
Well, here is a promise to myself that I cannot break.
I promise to never measure my worth based off of someone’s love for me. I promise to continue being the woman I am meant to be. I am so proud of her, and will not go back. I promise to myself I will never love anyone as much as I loved you. That love gave you full control of my entire being. And I refuse to ever do that again.
I’m so sorry for my mistakes. But I have learned, and have grown. And I will never feel sorry for myself again. You’ve taught me how to grow.
But you’ve also taught me to love nothing. And for that, I will never forgive.