What have I done?

As I continue to ask myself, “What did I do to deserve this?!”,

I think I’ve figured out.

I found out that even when I am 100% honest and true, it truly doesn’t matter.

I’ll take the high road. I’ll pretend it doesn’t hurt that bad.

Then I realized that pretending It doesn’t hurt- has taken the hurt to a different place. It doesn’t hurt as bad anymore. I have waited my entire life for this moment.

But why do I feel so empty?

I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost that giant heart of mine. It has grown and turned into this monster that I hate. I hate her. I hate what she has to say to me. I hate what she does. I hate this person with every fiber of my being.

But at least the monster feeds off of pain. And I’d say that’s a hell of a lot better than feeding off of my own sadness;


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